On April 28th I was enjoying my full summer day.

Since the days were more free, I began having more hunger cravings since my body wanted to spend that free time eating because that’s what I used to do before I got sick.

I had eaten 3 of my Smarties packs all in the morning and since I had created my new “max limit rule” in order to not create a flare, my brain became frustrated towards the evening because it wanted more food.

At 7p.m. I couldn’t hold off any longer and ran into my kitchen digging through my cabinets to find food. -These are always the most dangerous times for me since I’d eat my chair if I didn’t end up finding anything (figuratively).

In my pantry, at the very top, I have instant mashed potatoes which are considered a dangerous food for me, but I hold on to them still just in case.

At the bottom, I have salt, my 5-pound bag of Smarties (yes, I ordered a 5-pound bag, so I didn’t have to keep ordering every couple of weeks), and that’s about it.

I was so happy and relieved to find that on the second highest shelf in the back, there happened to be a bag of lollipops. PERFECT!

I quickly dug around to find my favorite flavor- orange (because since being diagnosed with GERD, I have missed oranges and orange juice so much). It was just what I needed and helped solve the craving entirely.

April 29th, I started reading a new book called Surviving and Thriving With An Invisible Chronic Illness  which was super refreshing to read but it also gave me the idea to start a blog! I was super excited about it and spent the rest of the working on figuring out how to make a website.

The next few days all of my attention went to this new blog!! I took photos for the site and began writing the first 4 articles. It was very relaxing, and I enjoyed coming up with the titles for all of the stories!

I had written all of the title names in advance, so I knew how to break up the stories and the list ended up being SO long!! I had so many stories I needed to write!!

May 4th my body started crashing fatigue-wise from writing and working so much on the website. I spent 3 days in bed to try and tried my best to rest while being frustrated that I couldn’t continue working on the blog.

On May 6th I made the switch back from 2 Smarties and a lollipop per day to 2 Smarties and peanut butter.

My body was once again craving something with more of a “denseness” to it, so I went to the peanut butter.

I had ordered some peanut butter that came in “To-go” cups which helped me be able to break up the amount I was eating per day. I normally had about 1/8 of one To-go cup per day.

Since reintroducing the peanut butter back into my routine, my body was not very happy about it, but my mind and taste buds were ;-) (that’s always the battle of it all).

May 7th my fatigue seemed to be better, so I kept working on the website and might’ve overdone it on the peanut butter… I ate ½ a to-go cup in a day and my body started sending warning pains, so I took it into “light consideration” as I continued deciding what to eat next.

I had ordered some gum that came in that I wanted to get to also help with the hunger cravings for the times when I wanted to eat something but couldn’t -due to a flare or because I had already eaten my max number for the day.

I got Starburst gum because it was flavored like fruits (again all things I couldn’t eat since having GERD) and I was super excited to try them since I couldn’t have mint gum (because of the GERD).

My favorite flavors were the orange and lemon. –(huh, I wonder why… ;-) )

That evening instead of eating more peanut butter, I tested out the gum. It went great and I was very excited about it!!

I then incorporated the gum into the daily routine as well to help me not overdo it on the peanut butter.

May 10th, my hunger cravings still hadn’t had enough.

I wanted more.

Oh, boy.

I went all the way to the store to get Jello.

I was up the previous night until 3a.m. digging through my pantry and watching videos of food to try and figure out what else I could potentially eat (unfortunately not the first time that’s happened).

I was brainstorming a lot with sweet foods since sugars seemed to be tolerated better because there was less to digest.

So, I also had to remember to take into consideration my swallowing issues and came up with Jello!

I went and got a sugar free (since I was having a lot of sugar already and knew I’d likely eat a lot of the jello) strawberry flavor (since some orange flavored items I do react to) because I wanted to play it as safe as possible.

I had a couple spoons immediately when I got home and oh my were they absolutely amazing.

I LOVED it.

I waited a while just to see if I had any flare-like reactions and things seemed pretty okay!!

I did get the jello stuck in my esophagus which was annoying, and water wasn’t helping it get down so that remained stuck for about an hour, so I just tried to remember for the next time that I needed to dissolve it and chew it well before swallowing.

That evening, (about the time I would be digesting the Jello because of gastroparesis) I had some minor dry heaving and just took some nausea medication to try and help.

In no way did this prevent me from eating more jello- not so sure how good or bad that is…

By May 11 my stool had been pretty weird since being on the jello, but I figured it had to do with the fact that it was the first “food” in quite some time.

I had an eye appointment that day which went really well, and I continued eating jello, peanut butter, Smarties, and gum throughout the day.

I think everyone can guess what happened next…

On May 12, I was woken up from sleep in the morning from pain. I had diarrhea all morning and had a lot of nausea which prompted me to take my nausea medication.

At 9a.m. I had my first virtual summer class which lasted until 12:45p.m. I felt really sick during my class and after it finished, I wrote that I was not going to eat anything else for the day – (which I ended up not following because I had more jello at around 1 p.m.).

 I felt so conflicted because my stomach was grumbling so much out of hunger, and I felt hungry, but my abdomen was in a lot of pain already.

So, what did I choose to do?

I kept eating – (not recommended; please listen to your body)

I had peanut butter, then more jello, then more peanut butter over the course of 2 hours.

I then took a 2-hour nap and had a Smarties pack and gum.

At around 10:30p.m. that night all hell began breaking loose.

My abdomen felt as if I had been punched by someone repetitively and was hurting so badly.

I woke up on May 13th feeling absolutely miserable and started the day immediately taking nausea medication. I still felt like I had been punched in the abdomen.

I felt so miserable that I finally  listened to my body and decided to not eat anything.

To help with the psychological effects of my hunger cravings, I just chewed more gum throughout the day. This helped.

My body was feeling more tolerable towards the evening from not eating anything in the day.

I was hoping I didn’t cause a flare because my dad was going to arrive tomorrow and would be staying with me for a bit while I had my repeat endoscopy.

Read how Emma’s endoscopy goes in the story, “April Showers Brings May Flowers & Endoscopies”.