Living in the Limbo

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Thoughts Filled with Cream of Rice

I had a lot of nausea whenever I’d eat the cream of rice and I often carried a trash can around with me in case I vomited but I kept eating because I enjoyed eating the rice so much.

 

I had trouble with figuring how much I could eat in a day so I kept eating whenever I felt like it which resulted in me feeling very sick and bloating so much that I couldn’t fit into some of my shirts.

 

I did have the cream of rice get stuck in my esophagus some of the time but generally if I made it with more water, it went down a bit easier.

 

As I continued to ignore my symptoms and keep eating more cream of rice, I began having more flare issues in later weeks.

 

I spent more of my free time continuing to work on the blog and doing more art drawings.

 

July 11th, I had just started another summer course and hadn’t figured out yet how to balance out my energy expenditure and ended up collapsing from fatigue. I also had some sort of autonomic/vasovagal attack while I was changing my TPN, but I caught it early enough that I just sat down, and my issues resolved (since I could tell my blood pressure was dropping).

 

By July 13th I had switched the way I was eating the cream of rice from cupcake liners to disposable paper dixie cups in order to have less dishes to do. It also helped me better measure how much I could eat in a day. I then found that I could eat up to 3 ounces of rice per day and not have to then be in bed from symptomology.

 

July 14th, I had changed out my TPN 2 minutes earlier than usual because the tubie clip company I get stuff from had a sale and things sell out quick, so I wanted to be able to just have to press start on my pump and then go to my computer at 6p.m.

 

Changing 2 minutes early meant I was not running any feeds for 2 additional minutes meaning instead of my usual disconnect time of 6 minutes, it was now 8.

 

From these 2 additional minutes, my body completely panicked and made my body start shaking from a drop in blood sugar.

 

I didn’t know what was making my body shake at the time, but I figured it was either a hunger craving, low blood sugar, or tremors.

 

I checked my sugars and they had dropped about 10-15 milligrams per deciliter which is why my body was all shaky. It’s so very sensitive to slight changes which is why I’m still on 24-hour TPN.

 

I took 2 glucose tablets and problem solved!

 

By July 20th I had just been having some odd symptoms that were stand alone each day. One of the days I bent over to pick something up and had a feeling that I had been kicked in the chest by a donkey for the remainder of the day. I had some other fatigue days, and more bloating.

 

On July 24th my flare began-great.

 

I had stomach pain that started intensifying but I was trying to ignore it and ended up having vasovagal syncope which I’m guessing was my body’s way of trying to get me to not ignore it.

 

I had some nausea medication and then tried eating a Smarties pack and after a couple pieces I felt much sicker than usual which was my hint that I was flaring and needed to stay off food for a bit.

 

The next day I woke up feeling awful and kept having diarrhea all day. It was a bit odd, and I figured it was likely the rice from the past few weeks (since I have gastroparesis it’s likely things are moving really slow).

 

I tried having a lollipop but that also made me really sick, so I just stuck to gum.

 

July 26th I was kept up all night and had breathing troubles which then led to chest pain and dry heaving. It was pretty weird, but I just tried my best to be comfortable, so I slept with my trashcan in my bed in case I vomited and had my backpack in bed with me too (to have my meds closer).

 

July 27th I was talking and began getting really fatigued from talking really quickly. I thought it was weird, so I just kept talking and ended up triggering vasovagal again.

 

I went to bed and couldn’t talk or move for the rest of the day from fatigue.

 

July 28th my breathing issues were still occurring, so I decided to call physical therapy and cancel my appointment for the next day since talking alone was making me almost faint.

 

By July 29th the flare seemed to have ended?... not sure but I’m still off of food just to give my body as much time to heal as possible.

 

In the past I have had breathing issues due to abdominal inflammation pressing on my diaphragm making it difficult for me to breathe. I figured that likely after 3 weeks of eating the rice, it created enough inflammation that I was now having breathing issues.

 

It’s a guess just based on what’s happened in the past, but I guess only time will tell!

Content Warning: Video shows a blood glucose test being done. Warning for needles and blood.

Read Emma’s next story titled, “The Continuation of Inflammation”!